Adventure of a Missing Nin
by Casual Kitten
Summary: Naruto never truly felt like the Hidden Leaf was ever really his home. Soon after Sasuke's desertion of the hidden leaf, Naruto decides that doesent sound like such a bad idea. Now in his twenties, who knew being a missing nin could be so fun? Almost as fun as getting drunk every night.
1. chapter 1

"Fuck"

That was the first word that came out of Naruto Uzumaki's mouth that morning.

Why?

He felt like shit.

"What the fuck did I do last night?" Something shifted under the covers to his right. He pulled the blanket away from the lump, and stared at the naked brunette who, thankfully, was still asleep.

"Ok scratch that. WHO did I do last night?" He looked up to the cieling and in thought, his eyes squinting and his tongue poking out slightly. He vaguely remembered stepping into a bar and ordering several drinks. Next thing he knew he was back at his apartment with one girl sitting on his face and another making out with her while riding him like a horse. Which left him with one question.

"Where's the second one?"

Suddenly the door to his room opened catching his attention.

"Oh hey Karin."

"Morning." The red head stated, looking at the naked woman laying in his bed. "I didn't realize you were into brunettes."

"Neither did I. Hey did we sleep together last night?"

"Pft, don't get your hopes up." She replied.

"Hmm. Then where's.." He trailed off as a moan came from the end of his bed. Pulling the covers back revealed a blond just as naked as the brunette. "Oh, there she is."

"Two in one night? Not bad. Cute too. You've done better though."

"You weren't the best."

"That was an accident asshole!"

Naruto allowed a sly smirk on his face. "An accident you all too happy participating in with me in your drunken stupor." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Naruto."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Heh. Tougher people have tried and failed honey."

"Just put some pants on." She sighed. Honestly sometimes she wondered why she still traveled with that idiot. And then she remembered. Oh yeah. That's right.

"So, what's the plan today hot shot?" She asked once Naruto was fully dressed.

"Hmm. Go find a bar and then get so hammered you'll have to scrape me from the floor?"

"Try again."

Damn. There went that plan.

"Alright, we hit the road again today. We've been here for a grand total of three days. The way I figure it we have about another two days before the hunter nin find out and haul ass to come and pick us up. I'd rather be gone long before that happens."

"And what about these two?" She said motioning towards to two naked females who miraculously stayed asleep during the entire conversation.

"Meh, they'll be fine if we just leave them here."

"And what about our next destination. Any ideas?"

"Nope." He replied pulling on a long black leather jacket.

"Don't you remember what happened last time we started traveling without knowing we were going?" She asked with her arms crossed.

The memory caused him to cringe. Yeah he remembered. They had traveled for a weak before finding a small town called Doku. Needless to say the town didn't take too kindly to outsiders and had Naruto and Karin hauling ass to get out of there within the hour, throwing all assortments of sharp objects at them.

One of the bastards managed to nick Naruto in the arm. And of course it was poisoned. Luckily the nine tails took care of the lethal part but that didn't stop it from turning his tongue purple and his piss blue for a week.

"How could I forget." He mumbled to himself. "If I remember correctly the Hidden Sand should be a three days travel from here. The dessert is about an hour away."

"Oh wonderful. The dessert."

"Ok you got any better ideas?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Thought not."

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Three hours later...

Naruto, if he was being completely honest, was a man that didn't dislike many things. In fact he liked most things, some of his favorite stuff were booze, woman, and booze.

Now, if he was being completely honest, he could say he officially hated the dessert. It was hot. It was humid. And worst yet there wasn't a single bar in sight.

He didn't even have any alcohol with him for the road. Damn red heads purging his alcohol storage.

Fucking Karin...

"Why didn't you warn me before we did this." He bit out irritably.

"I did you moron!"

"Well you obviously didn't try hard enough cuz here we are!" He yelled back.

Their bickering had continued well into the day until the sun set, forcing them to stop for the night. The dessert was dangerously cold at night, forcing them to snuggle close to eachother, Karin with her arms wrapped around his waste trying to steal some warmth.

They had been silent for some time until Karin decided to break the silence.

"Hey Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Do you... Do you ever think one day maybe we could, I don't know, stop traveling? Find a place to settle down at to live the rest of our lives in peace?"

The question left Naruto silent for a bit. Could they? He left his home in search of adventure. To live life on the edge. Could he see himself settling down? Ten years ago he would have said "no, definately not." Now though...

Maybe.

"I suppose so." He finally said. It wasn't a definitive yes or no answer, but it seemed to set Karin at ease as she settled herself into his side, resting her head on his chest.

"I hope so." She said before her eyes fluttered close, sleep claiming her.

A life not on the road? Perhaps that wasn't such a bad life to live, he mused before sleep also claimed him.

 **Authors Notes**

Short chapter I know. The idea just sort of hit me and I ran with it. So what do you think? It's a bit of a change of theme from my Soulless story don't ya think? Anyways let me know what you think. Be sure to review. If enough people like it I'll continue with this one. Idk if people will like it so if it doesn't get a very positive reaction I'll just scrap it. Well until next time!


	2. Chapter 2

The travel to Sand had gone off with little annoyance. Well as little annoyance as you can possibly have when in the driest part of the world where the sun beats the shit out of you.

Instead of just walking in, like Karin hoped would be the case, Naruto instead pondered a different method of getting in.

Which is how she ended up here.

Under ground.

Helping dig a tunnel.

With. A. Spoon.

At least she could mold chakra in it. That was a big help in speeding things up. Now if only she could make the flame on her match bigger.

"Naruto, I thought you were friends with the Kazekage." The frustration obvious in her voice.

"Yup."

"Then why are we digging a tunnel with spoons!"

"Sshhhh we don't want to be found out. And to answer your question, it's because his sister scares the shit out of me."

"We're digging this tunnel... Because your afraid of his sister?" She could feel it. Her eye was twitching.

Naruto suddenly stopped digging to turn his whole body around to look at her, his eyes wide with fear. "Have you met his sister?"

Silence.

"That's what I thought." He stated, and continued to dig.

"Ok fine. But surely there was a better way to sneak into the village than THIS." She said shaking her spoon to get her point across.

"Ok what would you have done? Let's just fly over the damn wall on the biggest fucking bird that's so pasty white it basically screams "HERE I AM!!"

It took a moment for her to understand the reference.

"That was mean Naruto you shouldn't talk that way about your friends."

It was his turn for his eye to twitch. "Do you even know why he did it?"

More silence.

"Cuz he FELT like it Karin! He fucking FELT like it. Who just FEELS like bombing one of the biggest villages in the nation? Fucking Deidara that's who! Fucking prick."

"At least he's passionate about something." She muttered.

"yes. Thank god he gets off watching fireworks and explosions." He replied sarcastically. The conversation was just annoying him the longer it went.

She was about to reply when his voice rang out again. "I think we're far enough."

The dig upwards was the most annoying, and the duo quickly discovered they didn't like the taste of dirt.

Naruto's head poked from the hole having finally reaching the surface, his face going from annoyance to a blank expression.

"Karin." He stated calmly.

"What?" She bit out after spitting out some dirt. She looked around only for her face to visibly pale, her complexion attempting to immitate snow.

"Fuck."

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Honestly it was a boring day in the ANBU headquarters of sand. Several ANBU had taken to playing paper football, while others simply fell asleep in a chair.

It was a perfectly normal day.

That is until the heads of a blond and red head suddenly poked through a hole in the middle of their floor.

Now THAT was interesting.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

He could admit it. Digging a tunnel under the desert to sneak into the village wasn't the most effective way to do it.

But how was he suppose to know that he was directly above ANBU headquarters.

Or that he was to be tied to a wooden chair in a dark, dank, room in the Hidden Sands interrogation cell.

A sudden punch in the face caught his attention.

"Ok for the last time, who sent you?"

"Your mom."

Punch.

"What are you doing here?"

"The correct question is "who" and the answer to that is also your mom."

Punch.

That one sent him and the chair tipping to the ground.

Was it satisfying watching the mans face turn red? Yes. Yes it was. Was it worth it? Hell yes. It was worth every bruise and cut on his face.

"Wow this chair is sturdy. Mind if I use it next time I come down on your mo-"

Punch.

Punch.

Punch.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

His purple cloak blew in the wind, the Hidden Sand visible in the distance.

A forked tongue left his mouth, flicking in the air before retreating back.

The smell was strong. He had been here recently.

Green, slitted eyes peered from under the straw hat placed on his head, hiding his face.

His voice was deep and rough.

"Uzumaki..."

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Karin waited in the dark cold cell her knees hugged to her chest waiting for Naruto to return. She was bored. No doubt Naruto was being interrogated and running his mouth making things worst for himself. Served the bastard right for getting them in this situation.

The cell door opening and closing caught her attention.

"Be sure to say hi to your mom for me!"

He turned allowing her to get a good look at his face. He had a few black and blue spots on one cheek, a long cut across the other that was bleeding, and a split lip. All and all...

"You look like shit." She stated.

His only response was a big toothy grin, where she could see the gaps a few missing teeth left behind. They would grow back by tomorrow but, he still looked like the shit was beaten out of him.

And she found it hilarious. But that was besides the point.

He sat down across from her, imitating her sitting position.

She enjoyed the silence for a moment. "Hey Naruto?"

"Hm?"

She paused again, thinking over her words. "You've never been afraid of women before. There's something more your not telling me."

He looked at her a moment, before taking a deep breath and exhaling with sigh. "A few years after I left the Hidden Leaf, I stayed here for a time. While I was here I got to know this... Girl-"

"The Kazekage's sister."

He glared at her. "Yes. The Kazekage's sister. Anyways, I got to know her. And after a while I ... Well..."

"*gasp* you didn't develop... FEELINGS did you?"

"No, no, no, not feelings. They were..." He stopped at the look she gave him.

"Fine, feelings. Damn you." He said, his glare returning full force, his arms crossed in a pout.

"But... Things didn't work out?" She asked through barely contained curiosity.

"Worst than that. I left. And I didn't leave a note. Or anything."

Silence.

"You fucked up."

"Thanks your a really good friend." He deadpanned. Honestly sometimes he wondered why he kept her around. And then he remembered. Oh yeah. That's right. Orochimaru would have her head if he found her.

"Regardless of how low that was Karin, I was, and still am, a missing nin. That's no life for a romantic interest."

She looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. That was true. Life on the road was harsh, and every day could very well be the last. It was everything they thought it would be. Adventure at every corner.

Se didn't regret the life. She would leave a thousand times over. Adventure was in both of their blood. But she also realized that meant meeting a nice man and settling down could never happen.

"Welp!" Naruto said clapping his hands together. "No sense in staying here to drown in old memmories." He finished standing to his feet.

She looked at him in curiosity."And how do you plan on getting us out of here oh great one?" Not long after she said that did Naruto have a set of keys dangling in front of her.

"You've got to be kidding me..."

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Kaisu was one of the many prison guards of the Sands interrogation cell. All and all... It was a boring job. You stood around watching a whole bunch of nothing. Nothing interesting ever happened.

It's this reason that, rather than keeping watch, he took to bringing 'reading material' from his house. Reading material here having the meaning of Jiraiya's new Make Out Paradise book WITH pictures.

Which was a crying shame. Maybe if he wasn't distracted he would have noticed the glass bottle BEFORE it smashed into his face.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Naruto bent down to pick up the book from the unconcious guard, promptly puting in an inside pocket of his jacket, before turning to leave.

He stopped when he noticed the look Karin gave him.

"What?" He said, his hands up in defense as if displaying the innocence that WASNT there.

A shake of her head was the only way she could respond before she started walking again, Naruto following behind her with the smirk of victory on his lips.

Their feet created a tiny echo in the hall, karins sensing abilities making sure no one was around to hear them. With no sense of direction they decided opening random doors and hoping for the best was as good as a plan as any.

"Dead end."

"Dead end."

"Nope."

A door Naruto came to met some resistance, forcing him to put some effort into it for him to open it slightly so he could poke his head through the crack. His head came back out a moment later closing the door slowly, his eyes wide and glazed over while the rest of his face held no emotion whatsoever. His voice came out in a deadpan. "That's not it."

Curiosity getting the best of her, Karin wrenched the door open. A second later she closed it just as slowly, her face a deep shade of green. She quickly swallowed the bile in her throat. She really did not need to see THAT.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Welp!" Came Naruto's voice vibrating with confidence. "It's official Karin... We're lost."

Neither one knew how long they had been traversing the seemingly endless dark hallways that made up the maze that was the interrogation cell. It could have been hours, days, hell at one point Naruto said it had been weeks.

Karin was going to verbally respond, but her attention shifted down the hall her expression turning serious, her senses prickling at her nerves. "Someone's coming."

Years of ninja training kicked in, their bodies disappearing in the shadows of the corner, invisible to the world, as two guards walked by them in conversation.

"*Yawn* I tell you what man, the longer I do this job the more I start to regret becoming a ninja." One said.

"Yeah I hear ya. At least out shift is over. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Your telling me."

When they were far enough away Naruto and Karin stepped out of the shadows, making sure the two guards wouldn't notice. They looked at eachother for a moment, sharing the same look. Their shift was over. That meant they could only be walking towards one place.

Heh. Would you look at that. Story convenience.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The two guards opened the door to the outside, neither noticing the foot that planted itself in the doorway preventing it from closing.

Whn they were sure they were gone, Naruto And Karin poked their heads out of the crack, their eyes shifting back and forth in paranoia before they stepped out.

Naruto couldn't help the smile that reached his lips. "Heh. Well that was easy."

She was about to deliver a sharp punch to the side of his head when suddenly a voice froze them where they stood.

"Naruto Uzumaki, you have some explaining to do."

They both turned on their heels, making sure not to make any sudden movements, to look at the figure of Gaara looking at them from the roof of the building. His arms were crossed as he looked at them expectantly, his facs betraying no emotion. Yup. That was Gaara.

Naruto could only look up to the night sky in defeat, taking a deep breath trough his mouth and releasing it through his nose. Only one word could effectively describe this situation.

"Fuck."


End file.
